On The Road

I have been on the road almost a year. During that year I have been writing a book on trucking. Who would have ever thought that the economy turning bad would put me in a semi, and then give me the opportunity to write about it.
Sometimes when we get down, on ourselves, or our luck, we need to look at the positives. Am I alive? Am I making a living? Am I seeing things I would have never seen if I wouldn't have taken this job with my son?
Forty six states later, and over 400,000 miles between my son and I, we have seen the goods and the bads of the road, and the people.
At first I had no idea why I would have to do this, and now, I know why.
Sometimes we don't need to know the answers right now. Sometimes we just need to sit back and shift all of those gears of the semi, and the gears of life.

Enough is Enough

Today I took my daughter to lunch. We were chatting while eating and a man and woman came and set at the next table over from us. They were both dressed very nice, so I figured they were at a business meeting. Right after they sat down the woman pulled out her laptop and I figured that for sure they were going to have a lunch meeting now.
As many of you know, I am a people watcher, so after a few minutes I looked back over their way, and I couldn't believe my eyes. They were not having a business meeting at all. The man was eating and the woman was.... playing Farmville.
Yes, Farmville, in the middle of the day, in a nice restaurant.
this made me think about a few things. First, how must have the man that was at the table felt. Second, how desperate must she be to plant her stupid fake crops. Is it that important.
To my friends how play these kind of games, please don't do it in a restaurant, or while having lunch with someone. Don't get so desperate to play a game that you ignore the people you are with.
And, turn you phone off too.

Life gives us ups and downs. Happiness and sadness. Good days and bad days.
I am one to jump to conclusions and think that I know everything about a situation at the time, but find out almost every time if I would just sit back and let things settle down, everything would turn out. Not always good, not always happy, not always eventful, but things will work out.
I was talking with a dear friend today, whom I though I knew so much about. I didn't know they were in a bad marriage, was broke, that he was depressed, that he feels like this is the worse part of his life.
I totally understood what he was talking about because not to long ago, I felt the same way.
Life isn't easy, and everyday we have to strive for the next day to be a better one. It isn't always easy, but it is worth it.

Forgiveness

The hardest thing in the world is forgiveness. I am sure most of you will agree with me. When things happen to you that you have no control over and you are hurt, it is not only hard to forget, but almost imposable to forgive.

When someone lies to you, it is hard to trust them again, and when they keep doing it, it is even harder to forgive.

When I was a young child I was sexually abused. It ended 37 years and I still struggle to forgive the person that did this to me.

I have had church leaders, psychiatrists, psychologists, Licensed Clinical Social Workers, family members tell me that if I forgive I will be better off.

Just over three years ago my life drastically changed when the doctor told me that he thought I had cancer. I had lost over 70 pounds, been to every specialist my doctor could think of and I started thinking a lot about my family, my kids, my future and things that I would change if I had a chance.One of the things that I wanted to do was to forgive the person that changed my life in such a careless way.

As a country song says, I forgive but I will never forget.  I finally forgive the person that changed my life forever, and if you were still around I could talk to you and ask why you would do something like that to me, a small child. I would try to get you help, and I would watch his every move.  

As many of you know, Amy Grant is one of my favorite singers, and Ask Me is a song she wrote about a girlfriend that was sexually abused.

If you have been abused, please get help and learn somehow to forgive, if you are the abuser, turn yourself in and get help.

Ask Me
Amy grant/tom hemby
Copyright © 1991 age to age music, inc./edward grant, inc./puxico music (ascap), adm. by reunion music group, inc.

Amy Says “This song is about a girlfriend of mine. If you or someone you love has been a victim of sexual abuse, please don't be afraid to seek help. the sexual abuse helpline is open 24 hours a day, and
Ne who cares is waiting for your call...(800)4a-child


I see her as a little girl hiding in her room
She takes another bath and she sprays her momma's perfume
To try to wipe away the scent he left behind
But it haunts her mind.

You see she's his little rag, nothing more than just a waif
And he's mopping up his need, she is tired and afraid
Maybe she'll find a way through these awful years to disappear.

Ask me if I think there's a God up in the heaven
Where did he go in the middle of her shame?
Ask me if I think there's a God up in the heavens
I see no mercy and no one down here's naming names
Nobody's naming names.

Now she's looking in the mirror at a lovely woman face
No more frightened little girl, like she's gone without a trace
Still she leaves the light burning in the hall
It's hard to sleep at all.

Still she crawls up in her bed acting quiet as a mouse

Deep inside she's listening for a creaking in the house
But no one's left to harm her, she's finally safe and sound
There's a peace she's found.

Ask her how she knows there's a God up in the heaven
Where did he go in the middle of her shame?
Ask her how she knows there's a God up in the heavens
She said his mercy is bringing her life again.

Ask me how I know there's a God up in the heaven
(how do you know? )
Where did he go in the middle of her shame
(where did he go? )
Ask me how I know there's a God up in the heavens
(how do you know? )
She said his mercy is bringing her life again
She's coming to life again.

He's in the middle of her pain
In the middle of her shame
Mercy brings life
He's in the middle
Mercy in the middle.

So ask me how I know
Ask me how I know, yeah
Ask me how I know there's a God up in the heaven
(how do you know? )
Ask me how I know there's a God up in the heavens
(how do you know? )
Yeah, ask me how I know
(how do you know? )
Ask me
Ask me
Ask me how I know
(how do you know? )
There's a God up in the heavens
Ask me how I know there's a God up in the heavens.

Yes this is how much we paid for gas the other day in our semi. Well, the company paid for it.

The upside of driving is I get to see my son everyday, and the downside is that I sleep in a truck going 62 miles an hour and don't get to come home much. Oh and there is the chaining up in the winter. See the photo.

Wow has it been forever since I blogged. I hope to do better. Since my last blog so many things have happened in my life. The most important is that I became a grandpa in May of 2010. He just turned two.
I sold my first book, and that was a good/bad thing all rolled up in one. I will talk more about that at a later time.
I left the newspaper business after being an owner for 11 years and the Managing Editor until March of 2011.
After I left the paper I was looking for work and my son Nick asked if I wanted to drive a semi with him. I didn't think long and said yes. I should have thought it over longer.
Between us we almost have 400,000 since last October. Not bad for six months of driving. We have made it to 46 states, and now drive a Walmart/Sams route in Utah, Colorado, Idaho, Montana, Nevada and Washington State.
I am in the middle of writing two non fiction books. One I have talked to many of you and spoke to many of you about. It is on surviving childhood sexual abuse. The other is a book on truck driving, and I wouldn't have been able to write it if I wasn't doing this job at this time.
I promise I will start writing again. I have seen so many things, people and places and I would love to tell you about them.